Lost THX "Tex" Trailer: Clubhouse

Do you remember Rohan and Brian‘s encounters with the Lost THX Tex Trailers? Well there is another one that I encountered and it was the most messed up trailer that I‘ve ever seen. I was sitting on my bed playing some Clash Royale on my phone. I got an email notification on my phone and it was from THX. The email said this:

"Hi, Jack. We wanted to send you a DVD of a never-before-seen lost THX Trailer. This trailer was made by the same two people that made those other disturbing THX Tex trailers. Your package will arrive in 2 days."

"Seriously?" ,I asked, "Another lost trailer?" Rohan had a DVD delivered to his house that was an early 2005 pilot. But this, was something different. 2 days later, the doorbell rang. I opened the door and it was the package that THX delivered to my house. I opened up the package and it was a DVD. It was titled as "THX Tex Clubhouse". The cover consisted of Tex in a clubhouse playing a video game on a TV. The console was a Nintendo Switch and the game that was on the TV screen is Super Smash Bros. Ultimate.

"Interesting" ,I thought.

I opened the case, turned on the TV, and inserted it into my DVD player. After I did that, I grabbed myself a snack and a drink. The DVD started up but before the trailer played, it had a warning. The message that came up said:

"Before watching, this trailer was made to promote the 2014 movie "Godzilla" even though that movie isn't THX certified. This trailer also consists of unpleasent nature that isn't sutible for people with health problems. Viewer Discretion is advised."

"Godzilla?" ,I asked myself, "I've seen that movie."

After the text faded out, the trailer began. It showed the inside of what appeared to be a clubhouse. Just then, Multiple people came in to the room. They resembled the actors Jack Black, Angelina Jolie, Dustin Hoffman, David Cross, Lucy Liu, Jackie Chan, and Seth Rogen who are the voice actors for Po, Tigress, Master Shifu, Crane, Viper, Monkey, and Mantis from the Kung Fu Panda franchise. Just then more people walked in to the room. They resembled Mike Myers (who voices Shrek), Steve Carell (who voices Gru from Despicable Me), Ray Romano (who voices Manny from Ice Age), and Bill Hader (Who voices Flint LockWood from Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs). They were checking out the clubhouse. Just then, even more people walked in. They resembled the actors Elizabeth Olsen, Brie Larson, Tom Hiddleston, Chris Hemsworth, Mark Ruffalo, and Josh Brolin who were the actors who portrayed Scarlett Witch, Captain Marvel, Loki, Thor, Bruce Banner, and Thanos from the MCU. Once again, more people came in and they resembled Ben Afflick, Henry Cavill (who portrayed Batman and Superman in the DCEU), Kelly Marie Tran, and John Boyega (who portrayed Rose and Finn (FN-2187) in the Star Wars sequel trilogy).

"Wow!" ,I said in astonishment, "That's a lot of people".

Then lastly, a mother with 3 kids walked into the room. The mother represented Kristen Wiig (who voices Lucy from Despicable Me), and the 3 kids represent Agnes, Margo, and Edith who were also from Despicable Me.

Just then, a clubhouse manager came into the room with 4 supervisors. The manager resembled the actor Sandra Bullock (who voices Scarlett Overkill from Minions) and the 4 supervisors resembled the actors Bryan Cranston (who voices general Li from Kung Fu Panda 3), Aaron Taylor-Johnson (who portrayed Quicksilver in Avengers: Age Of Ultron), and Peter Cullen and Hugo Weaving (who did the voices for Optimus Prime and Megatron from the outrageous Michael Bay Transformers Trilogy).

The manager stood up on a stool and started to speak (her voice sounding like Sandra Bullock) saying:

"I have a speech for all of you people here at the clubhouse. There have been multiple incidents and reports about a psychopathic robot going on a killing spree murduring tons of innocent people. In 2007, there were reports of a man with blue jeans, a yellow shirt, and red sneakers getting stabbed to death by a saw. In 2008, there was a report about someone by the name of Hayden Christensen who died from the psychopath. In 2006, 6 teenagers were found dead from getting stabbed by a saw, having their face chewed off, dropped to a waterfall and concrete. In 2009, there were some reports of 4 kids and adults getting killed in multiple ways and the kids also died in the explosion of the theatre. In 2012, there were reports of a man named Ewan McGreagor who was with the good real Tex who got killed when visiting Hell. In 2002, there were reports of 4 adults, 1 child, and 4 living toys who got killed by Tex and his new friend Zurg in many ways. On September, there were reports of multiple workers (plus the Unicrew) getting killed by Tex at the HQ of the main company THX. Oh, I forgot to mention that Tex has the ability to clone himself, create henchmen, and turn into Bagul. The good real Tex can also clone himself because I heard that he tricked Bagul into killing his clone. In 2020, there were reports of Tex destroying San Fransisco and dropping a man to his doom. And in 2005, there were reports of a man having his jaw broken while encountering Tex inside of a tunnel."

As the manager was explaining the reports, it goes into a series of flashbacks from the other previous trailers.

"I know it's sad to see these people die," ,the manager continued, "but all they were ever afraid of was THX and Tex. Nothing else. That's why none of us here is THXphobic. I hope everyone here has had a great time listening to my speech talking about these reports. Now go ahead and enjoy your fun."

The manager then left the room along with the supervisors and everyone went to interact with anything that was in the clubhouse. Meanwhile, Tex was flying around the sky looking for more people to murder until he saw some victims that he knew were on his list.

"Perfect." ,said Tex very sinisterly, "Just the right people to have fun with."

Tex then flies down to a parking lot that was next to the clubhouse where there were six more adults walking down the sidewalk to the clubhouse. They resembled the actors Jim Carrey, (who portrayed the Grinch), Alec Baldwin (who portrays Mr. Conductor from Thomas And the Magic Railroad), Vanessa Hudgens, Kimiko Glenn, Sofia Carson, and Liza Koshy (who did the voices for Sunny Starscout, Izzy Moonbow, Pipp Petals, and Zipp Storm from the new Netflix movie My Little Pony: A New Generation).

"Well. We are here." ,said the woman resembling Kimiko Glenn.

"Um, guys?" ,asked the woman resembling Vanessa Hudgens, "Do we have the feeling that we're being watched?"

"Vanessa. There's absolutly nothing to worry about." ,said the man resembling Alec Baldwin, "As soon as we get to the clubhouse, everything will be alrig-"

Before the man resembling Alec Baldwin could finish his sentance, Tex landed in front of the 6 adults. The man fell back in surprise screaming in shock.

"Hello, Baldwin!" ,said Tex.

"Wait!" ,said the man resembling Jim Carrey, "You're that psychotic robot that everybody has been talking about. Aren't you?"

"Yes." ,Tex said, "But. Would you like to see who I really am?"

Tex then morphed into Bagul. Thus, revealing his identity. Everyone gasped in shock. Bagul then picked up the man resembling Alec Baldwin, pulled out the Freddy Krueger claw from the seventh trailer and said:

"This is for being afraid of me and THX!"

He then stabbed the man as he grunted in agony. There was blood coming out of his back as soon as he got stabbed by the claws. The 5 remaining adults gasped in horror as the man got stabbed.

"NOW IT'S TIME TO HAVE FUN WITH THE BAGUL MAGUL WAGUL!!!" ,Bagul shouted.

"RUN!" ,said the woman resembling Sofia Carson.

Bagul then ran around the clubhouse trying to kill the 5 remaining adults. They ran around for 1 minute until Bagul got furious.

"Enough!" ,yelled Bagul, "I will get you quicker and you won't be fast enough to dodge my attacks!"

He then pulled out a knife and threw it at the person resembling Jim Carrey. He screamed in agony as he got stabbed in the back. The man then blacked out on the concrete. Bagul then chased after the 4 remaining adults. He then sliced the head of the woman who resembles Kimiko Glenn into multiple pieces with his claws. He runs around and kills the woman resembling Liza Koshy by tearing her eye sockets out of her head. There was also blood pouring out of her eyes and mouth as she died. Bagul was looking for the last remaining adults who were hiding behind a parked car. At that moment, the woman resembling Sofia Carson accidently sneezed causing Bagul to hear this and teleports right in front of them.

"Hello, ladies." ,said Bagul.

Bagul then pulls out the Freddy Krueger claws again and begins to slice their heads off.

"Wait!" ,said the woman resembling Vanessa Hudgens, "You can't do this! All they were ever afraid of was you and your logo! Those people were innocent! Don't do this! Please!"

"Too late." ,said Bagul as his voice became demonic, "Things have to be what they have to be. HASTA LA VISTA, LADIES!!!"

Bagul then sliced both their heads off as blood gushed from their necks. I was sickened by this scene. So I paused there and went to the bathroom and vomited into the toilet. After that sickening moment, I unpaused the scene and continued on with this horrific trailer.

The people inside the clubhouse were still doing whatever they were doing (like interacting with stuff that was in the room) not knowing about what was going on outside. Suddenly, Bagul busted through the roof causing everybody to stand back in shock. Bagul then held out a bomb and everyone gasped in horror.

"Do you see what I have here?" ,asked Bagul, "A bomb. This bomb will kill multiple people who were afraid of me and THX. It doesn't matter if you're not scared of it now because I will still kill you anyway!"

"What is going on here?" ,asked the manager. She then saw Bagul about to kill everyone with a bomb.

"Hey! You're that freaky robot that morphs into Bagul aren't you? Because if you are, I will have you reported to the Police and have you put behind bars!" ,ordered the manager.

Bagul then smiled with his yellow sharp teeth.

"Don't you dare smile at me!" ,yelled the manager.

"You know what I'm gonna report you to?" ,asked Bagul.

"What?" ,said the manager.

There was a long pause. I was getting worried on what Bagul might do next. Suddenly, Bagul pulled out a flamethrower and said:

"TO HELL!!!"

He then bruns everyone in the clubhouse and even the fuse on the bomb and the manager with the 4 supervisors. Everyone starts to screm in agony as they were being burned alive by Bagul's flamethrower. He then throws multiple knifes and once he was done using his flamethrower, he goes on killing everyone with his Freddy Krueger claws. Once he was done, Bagul then flies up through the roof with his jetpack. It then showed the outside of the Clubhouse. Then there was a huge explosion. The explosion from the bomb destroyed the entire clubhouse and everyone inside it including the manager and 4 supervisors have died.

The destroyed clubhouse formed the shape of the THX logo (just like the lost trailer from 2009) and the cars around the whole building in the parking lot formed the iconic rectangle. There was also lots of fire around it as well. The car alarms went off as the explosion blew them away. Then, the same deep note with a chourus of peoples screams returned. This time it was even more ear piercingly loud and there were more women screams, childerens cries, and inhuman screams.

"Crap!" ,I said as I covered my ears.

As the deep note ended, Bagul then appeared in front of us and morphed back into the evil Tex.

"Greetings, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls." ,Tex said, "The Tyrannosaurus Texy is back at it again. Remember, if you are ever afraid of me, or my logo, you will die a horrifying death. And it doesn't matter if you're not afraid of it becasue I will still kill you anyway. So goodnight, sweet dreams, and happy nightmares!"

Tex then flew off into the sky laughing evily. It then showed the famous THX slogan "The Audience Is Listening" except it's in a crimson red and has blood dripping down from the text. The text faded out and another bit of text faded in saying "Happy Hauntings From THX". It was also dripping blood and the corners were even blood stained. Tex can also be heard laughing in the background while this text was displayed. The laugh was the one from Thriller as heard in the 4th lost trailer.

As soon as it ended, I uncovered my ears and once again, I noticed blood on my palms.

"Oh my God not again!" ,I yelled.

I ejected the DVD and smashed it with a sledgehammer. I then told THX about the DVD. They said that Henry Bowers and Adam Kennington had some additional help for making the trailer and it was the thugs that made the R-rated THX trailers.

I was stunned of what they said. I emailed them back saying "Thanks for the info I needed". I never wanted to watch another THX certified DVD ever again. I can still associate with THX about the backstories of Adam Kennington, Henry Bowers, and the Thugs who made the R-rated THX trailers.

So the moral is that if you ever get an email from THX about another lost media for one of their trailers, Don't view it.